We are not the Cosby Family, but here are 3 ways we're trying!

Evening meals used to be a time for families to bond and share stories about what had happened in the course of the day. I am descended from a long line of hard-working Dalmatian winemakers. They had a strong work ethic, so relaxing together over dinner was an experience that held real meaning for our family.

But change is constant and these days we have new-fangled gadgets such as microwaves, video games and TV dinners. Life is more complicated and stressful than ever and dinnertime as a tradition seems to have dwindled away.

We thought about this and said, "enough is enough". The rest of this article is dedicated to sharing with you the changes we've made because the outcome has been wonderful for our family.

Those who know me know I love to cook. For me, it's actually a relaxing activity. Bridget on the other hand, hates cooking. She does pretty much everything else to keep our household working though. Plus she puts in long hours at the winery and takes the kids everywhere. So every Sunday I prepare half a dozen meals for the coming week, and into the freezer they go.

I like the fact that our children get to see me creating real food using real ingredients. As a result they are developing a real interest in cooking and are already quite adept. They understand that we value and respect food for both its nutritional benefits and the fact that it has been grown and tended by someone in a field, not something in a factory. To keep things interesting for our children, I make sure they get a variety of foods and flavor combinations. Most of the time it goes down okay!

Apart from the odd break during the year, it seems the only time our family is habitually together is meal time. Sticking to this has meant a lot of self discipline because it's so easy to let the day's distractions get in the way. After a hard day's work, as well as kids sporting activities and dance practice, plus all the other things on our to-do list, the easy option is to just collapse in front of the TV to eat dinner.

The time we now spend at the dinner table is a revelation though, thanks to a friend's suggestion. The four of us, Bridget and I plus our 12 year old son and 10 year old daughter, take turns to answer three questions...

1. What was the best thing to happen to you today?
2. What did you learn today?
3. What do you particularly love about someone in this family today?

I realise you might think this is all a bit of a cringe, and I certainly don't blame you! I'm not much of a new age kind of guy and it felt quite strange at first. But the great thing is that these three questions teach us a lot about each other. The answers can be very interesting and revealing!

If nothing else the process reminds each of us that no matter how small, something good happened today, we learned something new, and found something we love about someone in our family.

We are not the perfect family, but then again, I'm not sure if there is such a thing. Unless you count the Cosby family that is!

If you've never done anything like this, I hope you're tempted to give it a go. Introduce the three questions at your next evening meal and see what happens. I do recommend you eliminate distractions such as television though. If it feels a bit odd initially, that's okay. Just carry on because before you know it, you'll be discovering things you didn't know about your spouse, daughter or son. And, of course they're bound to learn stuff about you - every meal time. You may actually learn a few things about YOURSELF too!

Why not introduce your family to this potentially enlightening experience over dinner tonight? Let the magic begin!

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Author DARRYL SOLJAN makes wine in Matakana, New Zealand for a living. His business Ascension Wine Estate is a renowned Auckland wedding venues and a premier Auckland conference centre.

Copyright (C) 2010 Darryl Soljan. All rights reserved. You may republish this article provided you publish the entire article with no changes, include the FULL resource box, agree not to change the title or article content in any way, and agree to make all links active/linkable with no syntax changes.